My soulmate, Zakery Oyving Michaels, dog of my heart, passed from this place that we shared. A place where gravity held us up on good and bad days. Zak transitioned to be with his friends like Pepper and his love, Sophie. I can imagine them playing and running together on a soft meadow of green grass. Running or walking was not something Zak had been able to do in a long time and he was dependent on me for all of his needs.
We had some life, my soulmate and me. When people came and went and were disloyal to us, we remained steadfastly together.
And when he left, I felt as though I was standing in a pail of bleach water as the color slowly drained from my life. Death of a loved one is a kin to free floating in space between the earth and the surrounding planets with no certain destination and no guarantee of rescue. It is a surreal period of emptiness, numbness, and uncertainty that has no assurance of ending.
When one experiences death or loss of a loved one or a beloved pet, days seem as though they drag on with no ending or beginning, and the rods and cones in our eyes that help us visualize light and color have been stripped away forever. This is the beginning of grieving. To feel as though one must be dying themselves, or even want to, this is the feeling of grief and unrelenting loss with doubt that life will ever return to normal. The acrid tears fall at their loss and our loved ones’ life stains us with indelible ink.
Then a life line is intergalactically shot out from the darkness directly to our grasping hands. A gift from Source that one could be rescued from the pungent odor of grief that attaches itself to our skin, gives us hope.
My lifeline came in the form of two little redheads. They had a rough life before Source placed them in my path. These two little poodles, Rosie and Chu, saved my life by making me responsible for theirs.
Attending to Zak’s life was my pleasure as he gave so much of that to me.
Life calls on us to move on, to move forward. Perhaps it cannot ask us to see crimson in the same way, or smell the freshly cut grass the way we used to, as every goodbye makes its mark on us. Nevetheless, it is we who are left to carry on for those that have left us in charge.
I believe it is our nature to celebrate more than we grieve the lives that have touched us and their souls that still live within us.
In dedication to my soulmate, Zak. I love you forever.