Here is a repeat but well-worth it. Sex is an integral part of life. Do it well!!
Great sex and fibromyalgia; are they mutually exclusive? With a patient partner and the willingness on your part, one can have a satisfying, even mind-blowing sex life. As a person with fibromyalgia since 1988, I have found ways to enjoy sex, even as I age. Here are the tips that have worked for me.
- Sleep. Quantity and quality of sleep increase serotonin. Serotonin is a mood-enhancer and pain killer.
I like incorporating a nap in the nude before making love. Asking your partner to join you for a naked nap increases the chance that you will both be in the mood when lying next to one another. No appointment necessary!
Pay attention to your body. When do you have the most energy? If your energy level is higher and your discomfort level is lower during daylight hours. this is the time to partake in sexual activity.
2. Comfortable mattress. Lumpy or uncomfortable mattresses are not good for your sleep or your sex life. If you are not comfortable where you sleep, you are not going to want to have sex there either.
Inspect your mattress for lumps and protruding springs. Mattresses should be replaced every eight years for health concerns and to give
the best possible support.
Most people are choosing Sleep Number beds or memory foam beds depending on their tastes. If neither of these options are affordable, try a memory foam pad or Ewe pad on top of your existing mattress. Don’t settle in this department. A bed is something you keep a long time. Take your time in choosing the bed that is right for you.
Don’t forget to flip your mattress every couple of months if you have a spring mattress.
3. Foreplay. An important way to have great sex is to have enough foreplay. A woman takes longer to become aroused than a man, approximately 20 minutes longer. Women who experience fibromyalgia may take even longer. Remember to be patient and gentle. This is not a race to be won but a shared experience of love and tenderness between two consenting adults. Take your time.
Sax for Sex
Mood music can be added as well as candles and oils for massage. There is nothing like a smooth saxaphone to get you in the mood.You can incorporate a hot bath or hot tub experience before making love. Be cautious with scents however, since some people are allergic or sensitive to them. Forego the alcohol; alcohol and orgasms don’t mix.
Pay special attention to erogenous zones to increase desire.There are a wide variety of sexual accouterments or sex toys one can use to get your partner in the mood from feathers to furniture. Sex should be mutual and respectful. Always get permission to use sex toys before surprising your mate. Know your partner and be sensitive to each other’s needs.
4. Lubrication. Some women experience dryness for many reasons, not least of all fibromyalgia. It is important to provide enough lubrication, either natural or with jellies or liquids. There are plenty of lubricants on the market to chose from. I prefer K-Y Jelly but there are other products one can get at an adult store or on line. Some have a more silky feel such as a product called “Gun Oil” and “Wet”. Read all labels to make sure you and your partner are not allergic to any of it’s ingredients. Sometimes it is trial and error and it just depends on your preference. Also, don’t be afraid to experiment in the sexual position department. Making love is an experience to be enjoyed. Sexual positions are very much a part of being comfortable and enjoying sex with your partner. Some positions are not only more comfortable but may enable you to have an easier time to achieve an orgasm. Make suggestions and have fun with it.
5. Communication. The keystone to any great sex life is communication. Respectful communication out of the bedroom is key to making a ‘hot bedroom”. Talk about what makes you desirous of sex and what makes you feel good. Share stories and fantasies that enhance your desire.
Get realistic about sex; it is a natural part of life and it increases your feel-good neurotransmitters and decreases levels of discomfort when you achieve a climax.
Remember, some medications have an effect on sexual drive and ability to achieve orgasm. Don’t give up, get patient. Try new positions, and different times of day. Quality over quantity is key. Give as much attention to this part of your life as you do treating and caring for your fibromyalgia and you will be off to a great sex life!
Comments are welcome and cherished.
S. R. Michaels is a psychotherapist in Clearwater, Fl who lives with and counsels people with fibromyalgia.
You may reach Renee at email@example.com or 727-278-8375